Ariel Krupnik

Who Am I ?


September 2011

1: Who am I?

To make a short story shorter: I’m something like a Killer Klown from inner space. A shooting star. And maybe a box, this endless movie quote one, on the same shelf where you keep spicy ketchup. Further in, a secret writer, secret performer, in the hopes of manifesting an answer. Everything about me is a secret, except style. I’m not even sure there is enough of me to interview, minus my garb. I fear what I may sound like in the process.… I cut and sew myself in favor of smiles, for style is the safest way to say, “Here I am” creatively. A nod to the future and both a wink to the past. Today I’m McQueen, tomorrow I’m McDonalds. And stir.

2: What do you do and what project are you currently working on?

I’m a sideshow performer; a fire breather/eater–a very good one if I don’t say so myself. I’m a designer, whose most acclaimed attribute has been designing myself rather than others. I’m a writer no one knows about, a musician with an audience of seats. The majority of the time I write, though. I’m a huge writer person; television had a hand in my step-parenting, which got me to creating novels, short stories or even poems.

I am trying to get back into the performance game for at least one more time(s). I just completed work on a project I’ve been working on in secret for nine years, which may or may not see the light of day in another nine. The crest of dawn, if I’m lucky. It is my first book, entitled “ The Darkest Sides of the Human Experience”. Let us hope the title is as ominous as it sounds inside your head as it does mine.

It was recently brought to my attention that I should also think about going into a career of costuming TV shows, movies, or Broadway shows. I just have to fail with everything else to get there first. Pitch a tent, if you’re anyone waiting.

3: Where are you from and where are you going?

I am a native New Yorker, born and raised, never left. No reason to leave–everything needed and desired can be found and discovered here. It’s the city of dreams, and vending machines. So far, I am enjoying my stay on the island.

4: Who is your biggest hero?

Biggest heroes are always those who did more than just wear clothing; if you want to be a hero to someone like me you have to do more than just wear clothes. You have to be able to hit the mark without seeing the tape. See, style is for those who dont produce enough mayonnaise in their personality
to be called a celebrity, isnt it? A nice personality makes for a fine accoutrement to ones “accoutre-mantra”. Anyone that ‘stylish’ can be my hero, and I there advocate.

Gomez Adams is one of the highly regarded suit-per-heroes. Another dandy would be Sebastian Horsley, an openly straight sequined/suit wearing/London-based/dead individual. Which brings us to Alexander McQueen, a someone I admire whose also not with us. I’ve out-lived them all thus far, falling in
favor of myself I guess, at which, I like my influences like I like my heroes: dead and rotting, where they can’t threaten me.

5: What book is your bible?

I’m Jewish, I don’t consider books bibles. However, Perfume: The Story of a Murderer is a good read. The Sorrows of Young Werther is a horribly executed book, but a really good concept. The idea is that love informs all that we do. It is, in part, the secret origin of humanity. We are consumed
whole by even a fingernail-clipping of a person, that its enough to live for their fingers; their arms, legs–no matter how dooming the prospect. The Catcher and the Rye is also a great read. Nothing with romance, but I like to cry.

My favorite, and fine guide, would be Dandy In The Underworld by Sebastian Horsley. We wear the same shoe size, weather or not they fit. I looked into his mirror and saw only my reflection.

6: What are some things you love? And some things you hate?

Love: Women, love a woman in heels, a woman both in and out of a dress, romantically long walks on the short pier, good tailoring, fabrics, and grooming. I’ve recently become obsessed with tools of male grooming. It’s my alibi for maturity. People need to dress up for people today. We should take
time to put ourselves together, even if it means death to other’s conservatism. I love people who accept me despite me. People who don’t discriminate whether you’re one of the gays or straights. Great television, scripts. LOST is one. My heart is in the shape of its box set.

Hate: I hate that I am good with words, but horrible when it comes to speaking them. Night life, too. It’s a complete throw away, without the goods it can produce. I like some of its people, ’cause we need good people. Many are there. Not much can be said for those who judge without a gavel, except hatred. I hate anyone sneaking past, pretending to be real. I may by now be a fake myself, but I’m a real fake then. I happen to be grafted to my costume. Who you are, you should always be, keeping your personality to one. No Tom Fakery/Tom Foolery; if that’s who you’re going to be, be that. There’ll always be an 8th circle in hell, should you change your mind.

7: What is your raison d’être?

The blacks and whites, standing on four legs at home, as my dog Kingsley. In addition to him, I live for that next smile or next complement. These are the hinges that hold my door open. Nerdom keeps me going, whether it be a Dark Knight rising or a Hobbit hobitting. There must be plenty to live for. I
live for fashion but wouldn’t die for it. I live for myself. I would actually fuck myself but you cant fuck a mirror without bleeding, so…

8: What is your favorite color?

I don’t know. It depends, is toile a color yet?

9: Who is your favorite comic book superhero?

Batman is too easy…probably The Joker. He has more of the suit-per-hero thing going on rather than the Bat. Joker has the wit of his wear. In comparison to Batman, he’s succeeded in terms of style where his adversary has failed. He manages the suit all day, no matter where or who he’s with.

10: What is your favorite NYC hot spot?

I think its this place called 230 Fifth. I date all my girls there. ON Top at Le Bain is a favorite party on Tuesday’s, with Darian Darling, Anna Evans, and Kayvon Zand. The Griffin is dope. I’ve been going to LIT and Beauty Bar for years, but nothing will beat the sense of place you get when you are with friends. Or your Netflix account.

11: What turns you on?

I am a robot living in the future waiting for a woman’s hands to press my buttons, while I tend to sewing others. I require heels, a dress, and this woman of je ne sais quoi to be so beautiful that it overrides the cloth, and uppercuts my boredom. Someone can be beautifully dressed and have my attention, yet someone with a great personality has my heart. You would need to have your own sense of culture–I couldnt give that to you. I would also see into the present, hoping you’d make a great mother someday. And I would be pleased as peach trees.

12: What would the last question of this questionnaire be if you were the one asking?

Q: Who would you like to be after you’re dead?

A: I want to be kindly forgotten, with only a glimmer of what I was, so as not to come on too strong like I have in my life.. There’s a face, and a place. A man, an image of, forgotten, unnamed, and nothing left. A distant memory of, like a shooting star. For what are stars but distant and memorable. Safely kept away.

Ariel Krupnik is a twenty-four-year-old writer living fashionably, comfortably so, inside his body, in your New York City.


The Series of Theories

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Questions by PMc Magazine

Edited by Meaghan Coffey

Photography by Santiago Felipe

Design by Jillian Mercado

Contact Jillian Mercado if you’re interested in becoming a “Who Am I?”


Ariel Krupnik, New York, Ny, 2011, Photography by Santiago Felipe

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